Jackie Jarvis writes

“Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.” Caryn Leschen

I am twice the woman I used to be.

In many respects this is a happy state of affairs.

With age has come an acceptance of life, the universe and everything.

Excess emotional baggage has been cast away over time only to be replaced by a rather unsightly conglomeration of plumptiousness which has made itself well and truly at home around my midriff.

As une femme d’un certain age – it sounds far more intriguing when spoken in a sexy Gallic drawl, especially when you consider that what it is really intimating is that you have reached your sell-by date, are well past your prime – I am learning to accept that my once girlish figure has now been banished to the realms of fantasy.

The dreaded middle-age spread has moved in and shows no signs of leaving. Gravity has decreed that all my best assets have flown south, never to return, and especially not in time for summer.

And with the frightening prospect of a heat-wave approaching I am fast running out of inventive ideas for flattering cover-ups under which to hide
my abundance of curvaceousness.

Even the celebrated Gok would find it hard to fix me, let alone make me look good naked.

Now waving my little white flag and surrendering to my God-given fate, I bow to the sad fact that I will not be sporting a skimpy little tankini when I venture onto some foreign shore where only the toned and honed should be let out in public and where beached whales must be kept out of sight so as not to frighten the horses.

And it appears that I am not alone in this fear of exposing more than I am prepared to when the sun shines.

un, sand and stress is fast becoming the theme for many women petrified by the prospect of stripping off on their annual holiday.

Recent research has revealed that as many as 75% of those questioned in an online survey conducted by YouGov for Slimming World, dread the thought of squeezing their ample bodies into a swimming costume for a public appearance. Shockingly, as many as four in 10 feel unable to even set foot on a beach.

The holiday heebie jeebies can even start to rear their ugly heads as soon as they set foot on the plane with 21% of women saying they dread fitting into tight airline seats.

In the survey of more than 3,300 ladies, over 73% said slipping into swimwear was their most feared summertime hang-up.

In second place, 62% said they were terrified of wearing other types of revealing clothes when the sun comes out.

But Slimming World’s solution to this age-old problem is that we should use the thought of warmer weather as an incentive to get in shape and that losing weight in the summer months helps boost self esteem.

The sense of optimism you feel when it’s brighter outside creates a positive state of mind which is ideal for getting rid of all that excess body baggage.

But in the meantime ladies, pay heed to that well-worn adage: Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.