Jackie Jarvis writes

With that annual bun fight we lovingly call Christmas looming fast on the horizon our senses are being bombarded from every conceivable angle by all things festive. With barely a month to go before the big day there is no escape.

Emporiums, filled to the rafters with the ultimate in decorations to help us create a home bursting with Christmas cheer, set alongside all the latest must-haves in the perfect present department, are banking on their tills jinglebelling out as we all get dragged kicking and screaming into this buy, buy, buy frenzy.

And don’t believe there is any respite to be had by refusing to venture out on to the mean seasonal streets in the misguided belief that you can be shielded from this annual furore. Even with your door firmly closed to the outside world and the hatches well and truly battened down ‘they’ can still get you.

Turn on that box that nomally sits so innocuously in the corner of your sitting room and you are greeted by a softly spoken temptress whose hypnotic tones are designed to brainwash you into believing you must simply dash out and put a down payment on that truly scrumptious sofa you didn’t realise you had always secretly coveted, until now that is.

God forbid that you should expect your guests to park their rears on a shabby worn-out couch as you settle down to tune into that very regal tradition, the Queen’s Speech.

And, the best thing of all, it can be delivered in time for Christmas. Probably best not to discard your trusty old friend until its smart new replacement arrives, though. We’ve all heard the horror stories about ‘lost’ deliveries and I don’t think Her Majesty would be amused by a bunch of her loyal subjects hanging on her every word whilst fidgeting around on bean bags.

And then there’s all those tempting last minute cut-price offers on gizmos and gadgets minus which you’ve managed perfectly well so far but which you can no longer live without, if the adverts are to be believed; all that food, all that wine, all that money we are being urged to part with.

I do wonder why it is that on this particular day of the year, when there are 364 others in between, we feel everything has to be so perfect.

With expectations running high we’re destined to fail. I have always thought Christmas comes at the very worst time of the year.

Let’s face it, in the midst of winter nobody’s feeling their perky best. Most of us are so exhausted from all the extra hours put in at the nine to five so we can take a few days out to eat, drink and be merry that what we could really do with is two weeks basking on a tropical island, away from the madding crowd, not two days of incessant eating and drinking in a cold climate.

You might have gathered I’m not a great fan of Christmas. But, there’s good news for an old Scrooge like me. This skinflint has found a way to make a big saving on my festive fare.

Thanks to shopping experts at the Good Housekeeping Institute I can now serve up a fabulous feast for just £2.89 a head. This budget menu serves eight people handsomely for a mere £23.08. Result!

The centrepiece is Lidl’s Glen fell frozen self-basting turkey which costs £9.99 for a bird weighing up to 4.4kg. Sainsbury’s is the chosen retailer for carrots with a 1.5 kg pack selling for just 75p, while Asda is offering a 2kg bag of King Edward potatoes at just £1.40 and Morrisons has two 500g bags of parsnips for just 50p each. Also on the table will be two Tesco Value Christmas puddings at £1 and Sainsbury’s Basics mince pies at 63p.

Season’s Greetings everyone!