Jo walked into to the room only to see her 13-year-old daughter Millie, abruptly close the screen she was looking at. This seemed to be happening more and more these days: “What’s that you’re up to?”

“Oh nothing mum – just something for school”. Millie smiled fleetingly but her eyes looked troubled.‘ Anyway – I need to get on with some piano practice.” And with that she was gone.

Glancing back at the computer, Jo noticed that Millie hadn’t actually closed the page down. Guiltily aware that she was crossing the fine line into prying, and feeling ashamed of her intrigue, Jo maximised the page.

There was an exchange going on between Millie and another girl in a chat room.

It took Jo a minute or two to drink in the words and realise what it was exactly that she was looking at. A series of chat lines – an exchange that Millie was in the middle of. But this was not an ordinary conversation.

When Jo confronted Millie about the new chat room friend – and the nature of the exchange – Millie cried as if her heart would break.

“Oh mum – this girl – she just won’t leave me alone – keeps asking me about my body and says she’ll email you and all my friends if I tell anyone…. she’s even asked me to meet her.”

Appalled at the nature of what was unfolding in her own living room Jo took action. Contacting the police, she was relieved that the police took her concerns seriously. To her horror the exchange was more sinister than she ever suspected. Last week, “Caz” was jailed for grooming a child over the Internet. Caz was not a 14-yearold schoolgirl. Caz was in fact Rob, a 35-year-old man from Romford who had been tricking girls in chat roomsinto sending him indecent images of themselves and friends. He was well on the way to persuading three other girls from Shropshire to meet him. He did this by initially gaining trust – his alias made the girls think he was “just like them.” Once trust was gained, he manipulated the girls into believing bad things would happen to them if they did not do as he asked.

In Essex, a man travels to meet a 13 year old child following a sustained Internet campaign of sexual ‘grooming’ of two young girls. During chat room exchanges he arranges a meeting with one of them near her home...

In Derbyshire, an internet predator gains control of teenage girls’ computers from his own home, then terrorises them into sending revealing poses of themselves...

In London, a paedophile is jailed after grooming a child over the Internet and asking her to do a ‘rude dare’

FORTUNATELY, ALL OF THE ABOVE CASES had a satisfactory outcome, and the perpetrators were caught and jailed

Of course, the other side of the equation is that children LOVE the Internet and so they should - it is full of fun things; stuff for school, music, contacting friends etc, etc.

It’s especially difficul for parents who feel that their child knows ten times more than they do about computers and the Internet. How on earth are you supposed to protect them?

First - be aware of the risks:

The key ones are:

• Dangerous people making contact through chat rooms, email, instant messaging or social networking sites like FaceBook, bebo and MSN.
• Unsolicited or inappropriate material appears on screen.
• Being duped by a scam email into giving password or bank details away (known as “phishing”).
• Innocently opening an attachment which downloads a virus to your computer

This is what you can do about them:

Dangerous Contacts

There are so many different ways of people making contact on the Internet (chat rooms, instant messaging, email, even mobile phones) that supervising what your children say to others and/or trying technical solutions to block unwelcome contacts will almost certainly prove ineffective. Instead, there is no substitute for good advice. Explain that making Internet friends can be good fun but that not everyone online is who they appear to be. They should never arrange to meet an online friend without you knowing about it, and they should never give personal information (phone numbers, address etc) to online contacts they don’t trust. If your child enjoys chat rooms, tell them to have their conversations in public and not to go into private rooms (to “whisper” as it is known).

“make sure that all use of the home computer is in a shared room in the house”.

Pornography

This issue is difficult as there is so much available on the Internet.

Firstly, if the children are old enough, explain that if they accidentally display a “rude” picture they haven’t done anything wrong but that they should come and tell you immediately. Contact your ISP (Internet Service Provider) and ask if they can switch on “parental controls” - a free service - on your line which will prevent the worst of the images getting through.

Phishing

Make sure that you and your children treat any email which appears to come from a bank, building society or online shop/auction (eg eBay or PayPal) with suspicion. Never, ever respond to these mails. Do not click any link as it may take you a page that looks normal but is just a copy.

Instead, go to the official website for your bank to make contact. If the bank has something important to ask they will write or phone.

“make it a rule that time on the computer is not secret time”.

Viruses

Make sure you have some decent anti-virus installed and keep it updated. Explain to your children that they shouldn’t open attachments in emails unless they are expecting them. Other nasty programs are Trojans and Worms which try to steal information from your computer. Again, a good anti-virus program will protect you. If you think you might have something nasty on your computer, unplug it and seek professional advice.

Finally, one of the best pieces of advice I can give is to make sure that all use of the home computer is in a shared room in the house. If a child is using the computer in a bedroom you have no way of knowing what they are looking at or to whom they are talking. Keep computers in the lounge or kitchen and simply make it a rule that time on the computer isn’t to be “secret” time.

Best Resources

There is some great advice on the Internet and here are some of the best resources for you to use:

www.getnetwise.org
sensible information for parents

www.chatdanger.com 
good for kids and well as parents

www.nch.org.uk/itok
I’ve worked many times with NCH and they are a fabulous charity. Lots of good advice on their site

www.childline.org.uk
very helpful if your child is suffering from bullying via email, text or another electronic medium

www.ceop.gov.uk 
the UK’s specialist centre for child exploitation and online protection. Fantastic advice from the Government’s specialist facility.

www.thinkuknow.co.uk/hectorsworld
CEOP’sbrand new site for 5-7 year olds.

www.childnet-int.org 
Childnet International is a non-profit organisation working with others to help make the Internet a great and safe place for children

* The story featured is based upon a real incident but certain details have been changed for publication

By Robin Bennett

Robin Bennett lives in Morville, Shropshire with his wife Catherine and three young children. He is managing director of Start Software, a computer software company working across the UK. He is also an Independent member of West Mercia Police Authority. Contact Robin via robin@start-software.co.uk